Continue Chat on Dating App After Scheduling Date

So you're stuck inside during the Corona Virus Pandemic.

You get a few matches and send an awesome Tinder opener.

But… now what?

Send in: the video chat first date.

In this article, I'm going to teach you:

How to have a video chat on the first date.

That leads to something more… hands-on.

Once this pandemic ends.

Let's dive in:

• Why video chat your first date anyway?

• 1 - How to go from Tinder to Video Calling

• 2 - Set a 10-minute time limit on your call

• 3 - The Call Back Method

• 4 - Avoid interview questions

• 5 - Use Open-Ended Questions to Get Her to Invest

• 6 - Use Inside Jokes on Your Video Chat First Dates

• 7 - The "Golden Phone Calls" method

• 8 - Humble Brag Story Strategy

• 9 - End Things on a High Note

• 10 - What to Avoid in your Video Chat Date

• 11 - How to Make Yourself Look Good through the Video

• 12 - How to be Confident on a Virtual Date

• 13 - What to do after a successful first video date

• 14 - Virtual Date Ideas for After the Initial Date

• 15 - Voice Notes: The Next Frontier

Why video chat your first date anyway?

Given current events with the Corona Virus Pandemic you're either:

• Trying to self-quarantine or

• Maintain the 6 feet of social distance

So it's not like you have many options but a video chat first date either way.

That said:

Why have a video chat first date

Before we move on to how to have a successful first date on video chat…

First let's cover why you'd do it in the first place.

Even if COVID-19 wasn't forcing you to play this hand.

Here are 3 Reasons why:

1. Her pictures are too good to be true.

2. You met online, and she's far away.

3. Your work schedule is crazy and you want to connect before the lead gets cold.

Anyway, with that said let's get in to the strategies:

1 - How to go from Tinder to Video Calling

So you're on Tinder and having a conversation with a girl that you're into.

Things are going well so You want to ask her out…

But how do you know if she'd be willing to video chat you?

The reality is:

Asking for her to video chat first date is a much smaller "ask" than meeting up for a date.

The smaller the ask, the higher the chance of success.

This is the case with everything…

From meeting women, to marketing.

The result on Tinder:

• A girl who isn't totally sure about you yet…

• Or would probably say no to an in-person date…

Might give you a chance on video.

Simply because there's less risk for things to get awkward.

She can just "hang up" on you and ghost.

But on a real date… it's not that easy.

This is important because it gives you a chance to have them "warm up to you."

Which is way easier through video than text.

In fact, you can see how easy this:

How to Call Her on Facetime

Just follow these three tips:

1. Ask sooner than later, asking too early is easier to recover from than too late.

2.  Recognize that this isn't a big deal, when you ask, be casual about it.

3. Tell her you only have 10 minutes to talk, it takes the pressure off of her.

Remember, if she is willing to meet up in person…

She would be down to chat over FaceTime.

The Right and Wrong Way to Ask Her Out

In your Tinder conversation, if you notice that she is:

• Asking a lot of questions.

• Using a lot of exclamation points.

• Or is just "engaged" in the conversation.

Then it's a good time to ask her out for a video chat first date.

(Or in many cases… you can just ask in your first message.)

But keep mind, that's typically a little riskier.

As in, you'll have a smaller conversion rate.

But it can still be effective.

The best way to do this isn't to ask as if it's a question.

Instead, it's best to give friendly - but direct - suggestions.

And if you do ask a question, ask one that's logistical in nature.

• Example: "Let's continue our conversation on Facetime. No handwashing required. Are you free now or in a few hours?"

That said, as you saw in the above examples…

Asking as a question is OK…

You just won't (again) have a high success rate.

Important Note: Don't Call Out of the Blue!

Here's a really important note:

When you get her information you're going to be excited to get the video chat first date started.

But don't just FaceTime and call her out of the blue.

This will come off as aggressive and off-putting.

Especially if it's late at night.

In fact, it seriously creeps girls out.

Check this out:

This was posted in the Zirby Facebook group by one of our members…

I just wish he had asked for advice before calling her…

Again, the point just because it's a video chat first date doesn't mean you can break etiquette.

2 - Set a 10-minute time limit on your call

Here's the thing:

She's nervous to talk to you too.

She's worried that if you don't connect, she'll be stuck in an awkward, long conversation.

That is amplified on a video chat first date, because you have to see the person.

And there's all kinds of weird things you could do with the camera turned on.

Augh…

One way you can get around this with you video chat first date is to set a 10-minute time limit.

It will make her feel way more relaxed.

Less pressure to perform.

She knows that there's an easy out if things get weird.

Seriously, try this on your next video chat first date.

It's insanely effective…

Tell her before you call that you only have 10 minutes to talk.

You'll find that a great number of women agree to jump on the video call with you.

Plus…

It gives you a way to leave the conversation on a high point.

And leave her wanting more…

For a follow-up date in person or otherwise.

3 - The Call Back Method: Going from Tinder to Facetime Easily

How do you make the transition from Tinder to the first video chat date to feel more natural?

It turns out, it's pretty easy.

I use a technique called the "Call Back" method.

When she answers the video call:

The first thing you should do is reference something from your Tinder convo.

Or something from her profile that stood out to you.

For example, if her bio says "NYC Pizza > Chicago Pizza"

• Then follow up with something related to that, like: "Gonna call have to call you out. NYC Pizza is obviously trash."

(Hey reader, I hope to God you don't actually believe that…)

Anyway by doing this you "feel" familiar.

There's not a difficult transition from Text / Tinder to the video date.

It also shows that you paid attention to the conversation you already had with her.

4 - Avoid interview questions

When you rapid-fire ask questions it makes the conversation one-sided.

Think about it:

How bored are you getting bombarded these questions…

When you're at your family reunion?

For me, it's a 10/10.

Questions like:

• What have you been up to?

• What do you do for a living?

• How are you keeping busy?

• Got any hobbies?

Yikes.

Don't get me wrong, these questions make sense… logically.

But logic isn't the name of the game here.

Emotions are.

These more standard questions are better when you meet up in person.

Or when you have a more serious conversation.

But for a first video chat date?

You want those 10 minutes to be gold.

Give our questions to ask a girl on Tinder article a read too.

That will give you more tools in your toolbox.

Going for Assumptions over Questions

Alternatively, try to make assumptions about her in place of questions.

You can learn the same information…

But it's a much more engaging way to communicate.

To make things easy, I'll give you 3 boring questions.

Then I'll turn them into assumptions.

Imagine in this scenario:

You're video chatting her and notice:

• She is dressed in black

• Has a cat

• Lives in an apartment building.

In these examples, you could ask the following boring questions:

Boring Questions:

• Do you have any pets? Cats?

• Do you work in a creative field?

• Do you have any annoying neighbors?

These questions are… fine?

They are logical…

But they don't really peak any emotions.

On the other hand, let's turn those questions into assumptions.

For Example, here are the assumption versions:

• "I can tell right off the bat you're a cat lady. How many are you hiding from the camera right now?"

• "Based on your clothing, I'm guessing you're an architect. How wrong am I?"

• "I'll go next, but you've got to tell me the story of the most annoying neighbor you've ever had."

See how much more engaging the assumptions are?

Yeah.

That's why it's works, man.

5 - Use Open-Ended Questions to Get Her to Invest

If you're the only one doing talking…

Then things are going to get very bland for you.

Especially on a video chat first date because there's nothing to "distract you" like on a real date.

And she'll think you're obsessed with yourself.

Look, I get it.

You're nervous that if you don't keep talking there's going to be awkward pauses.

But trust me on this:

Awkward pauses not as bad as nonstop focusing on yourself.

Assumptions that get her to talk are a great way to loop her in.

But at some point, you're going to have to take a bit more risk.

And get her to really invest.

In this case, questions do work.

But, as we covered… not boring interview questions.

Queue up: the Open End-ers.

Open-Ended Questions

When it comes to asking questions:

• Aim for open-ended questions.

These are the questions that can't be answered by a single word response.

• What's the biggest risk you took this year?

• Where's the next country you're going to, and why?

• Tell me the coolest thing you've built with your own hands.

These open-ended questions do 2 things:

1. Make the conversation WAY more fun (for you both.)

2. Get her to actually invest.

This strategy leads to a rabbit hole of conversation.

And can be used in a pinch if you feel the conversation starts to die down.

6 - Use Inside Jokes on Your Video Chat First Date

One feeling you want to get out of your short video chat exchange?

• You both against the world.

This can come from inside jokes and light-hearted role-plays.

In fact, this is what makes Jim Halpert so attractive in the Office.

You feel like you and him "get it."

Those glazes at the camera, the pranks, and the role-plays.

All make you feel connected to the character.

This works the same way on your Skype date...

Plus, they are extremely easy to do.

Let's say she's super into knitting.

Cool, you can make an inside joke/role-play to work with that.

• You: "At Christmas, I expect all my gifts to be knitted gloves."

• Her: "Already done. I hope you're cool with pink."

• You: "I was hoping green and pink polka dots, but I guess I'll settle."

• Her: "Don't worry, I'll knit green and pink polka dot wrapping paper for your gifts."

• You: "Perfect."

You can see how simple this role-play is.

And now you have an inside joke:

Literally all gifts in your relationship must be knitted.

• Knitted sexy lingerie.

• Knitted oven mitts.

• Knit-and-chocolate covered strawberries.

Again, so easy!

You can build out funny role-plays and inside jokes.

The result?

It'll feel like you both "get it."

That it's both of you against the world…

And that's powerful.

7 - The "Golden Phone Calls" method.

My friend Jesse has a method called the "Golden phone call."

It 100% applies to video chat first dates.

Long story short, it's a formula for having an exceptional Facetime with a girl.

(Or… you know… phone calls.)

By exceptional, I mean it gets her attracted to you.

Here are my favorite 2 elements of a Golden phone call.

Also, I only included 2 because my entire blog post covers many of the strategies in the golden call.

Anyway...

1 - Get Over the Hump

Your first video chat date will be a little… awkward.

Like anything else, getting "fluent" with video chat first dates take time and practice.

But keep with it.

This is the hump or pain period.

Even if you're extremely nervous just keep with it.

After a few Skype sessions… you'll hit your stride.

2 - Be "playfully skeptical."

Attractive women have guys constantly bombard them to meet up.

And women have to worry about:

• What if he's weird?

• What if he's dangerous?

• What if he's desperate and things get awkward?

With video dates that's going to be the same…

One way to "solve" this issue is to put a 10-minute cap on the convo.

Like we mentioned before.

But, another way is to be "playfully skeptical."

• For example, you might say: "Let's video chat… but you're not actually a 60-year-old dude living out of his Mom's basement, right?"

This is light-hearted, but you're "flipping the script" here.

The reason this works is because you're showing her that you "get it."

The fact that you screen out weird girls tells her that you have a lot of options.

That you're not desperate, and you're socially smooth.

Hear the Golden Call

If you're curious…

You can actually listen to the recorded conversations of real golden calls.

If you are the kind of person who:

• Learns better from seeing the real thing (rather than reading a blog post about it)

Then you'll probably want to get the course and listen.

You can learn more about it here, and follow the entire system.

But long story short:

You make your phone calls golden by flipping the script, and using the humble brag.

Which leads us to…

8 - Use the Humble Brag Story Strategy.

I think you're really going to like this strategy.

The goal here is to share with her what your life is about.

Ideally, in a way that highlights some of your better aspects.

A crude way to call this is a "humble brag."

But the best "humble brag" stories should always be balanced.

You balance it by being a little self-effacing.

Use this in your video chat first date to get her interested and impressed, without coming off as sleazy.

Elements of a Humble Brag Story

In fact, here are 3 elements your "humble brag" story should hit.

1. Keep it light, brief, and fun.

2. Give a "humble brag" related to a positive, cool quality or achievement about yourself.

3. Balance it out by being self-effacing.

We'll break down all of these elements soon.

But first I want to give you an example story:

Mine.

My example story:

This example is a story I've told girls on virtual dates.

And over WhatsApp/WeChat voice notes.

It works for a variety of reasons.

Here's the condensed version of it.

"Hey [X], the worst thing happened last night.

I've been locked at home because of COVID-19…

And I've discovered the British Baking Show.

I've gotten SUPER into it.

And because I'm a complete wuss, I literally cried during the finale.

To be honest… it's kind of embarrassing to admit.

Anyway, I run a bunch of successful online businesses…

So I figured this was another easy skill I could master.

Well:

It turns out I'm an idiot because I've spent the last 3 days making my own croissants.

And they came out like Christmas presents last year…

Lumps of coal."

Keep it Light, Brief, and Fun.

If your story:

• Goes on, and on, and on… and on…

• Gets way too serious.

• Or isn't entertaining.

Then she is going to be bored listening to it.

You don't need to be an entertainer or a comedian.

Keep it simple.

My story above takes less than 60 seconds to get through.

That's a reasonable amount of time.

For your story, keep it around that length.

You'll also notice I kept things entertaining.

All important.

Relate Your Story to something cool about you

It's not enough to tell a story during your video chat first date.

You want that story to reflect some cool things about yourself.

• Don't be overly strategic here…

Just pick one cool thing you do or did.

In my case, my humble brag was:

"Anyway, I run a bunch of successful online businesses… So I figured this was another easy skill I could master."

• In this case I point out that I run successful online businesses.

And that it's "just another easy skill."

To be frank I was a bit more overt about it for the sake of this example.

But saying this will make her curious about what my businesses are.

She'll probably ask me about it later in the conversation.

Your humble brag can be whatever you want.

Just make sure it's something about you.

Hanging out with a celebrity isn't related to you.

That's pandering.

The best humble brags are related to accomplishments and skills that you fought hard to win.

By the way, you can have a fun game out of 2 truths 1 lie on Tinder here as well.

Balance it out by being self-effacing

If you only have a humble brag…

(Unless it's very subtle…)

Then you're going to give the impression that you suck.

LOL.

No one likes it when someone only talks about how great they are.

If you do that then you'll prove to her you have no social intelligence.

That's where the self-effacement comes in.

As a very generalized rule:

• When you give a humble brag, balance it with an equivalent self-effacing statement.

The keyword here is "balance."

• A small humble brag only requires very small self-effacement.

• While a BIG humble brag requires a larger self-effacing statement.

For example, in my story I come off as very cocky when I say:

"I run a bunch of successful online businesses…

So I figured this was another easy skill I could master."

So in order to "ground myself" I use these two tongue-in-cheek statements:

• And because I'm a complete wuss, I literally cried during the finale.

• Well, it turns out I'm an idiot because I've spent the last 3 days making my own croissants.

• And they came out like Christmas presents last year… Lumps of coal.

These help balance things out.

Keep in mind that being self-effacing is an art.

If you unbalance things by being too self-effacing…

Then you'll show her that you're not a valuable guy.

Putting it all Together

You can use my story as a template.

Just make sure your story:

• Is short, light and fun.

• Gives a humble brag.

• Balances things out with self-effacement.

Do all of that and your first video chat Tinder date will be succesful.

But keep in mind this isn't just about video chat dates.

After Covid-19 ends and you're trying to figure out first tinder date ideas in the real world…

You can use this same strategy when you meet up.

9 - End Things on a High Note

End the video chat first date on a high note.

High note as in you're both having a good time.

Emotions are running high.

It's better to end the conversation a little bit early.

Rather than wait until the conversation dies down…

When she turns off her phone:

• She should feel like she wants more.

Because if she hangs up and feels like things went on too long…

Or ended awkwardly…

It will really hurt your chances of making things happen next time.

10 - What to Avoid in your Video Chat Date

You've got an understanding of what works.

Let's cover what doesn't.

Here are 5 things to avoid:

• Don't be negative. Avoid complaining.

• Don't be overly self-deprecating. It makes you look weak.

• Avoid job interview questions. They are boring.

• Don't make her uncomfortable with rapid-fire questions…

• Avoid logical, boring conversation topics. You'll get stuck.

Don't talk about these subjects...

As far as the conversation itself…

Here are 4 topics to be careful diving into.

• Your ex.

• Previous Tinder dates.

• Your dislikes. (Keep things positive.)

• Focusing on COVID-19 aka the Corona Virus. (It's all she hears about.)

That said… you can break all those rules so long as she brings those topics up.

And you get take risks.

But that's on you.

11 - How to make yourself look good through the video

The ambiance is the ultimate mood setter.

Here are 3 tips to make yourself look good through video.

They'll give you an extra boost in getting her attracted to you.

Tip 1 - Daylight is Your Friend

Do your video chat first date during the day, seated near a window.

This will let in natural light.

Which -- trust me -- will make your skin look better.

If it's night by the time you're doing your date, make sure you are in a well-lit room.

A camera check before your video call is always a good idea to make sure you aren't in the dark or washed out.

Tip 2 - Keep your background clean

You might not care about the mess your place is in.

But she probably will.

So if your background doesn't look good, you don't look good.

Pick a neutral setting such as a tidy living room or backyard with some greenery.

Tip 3 - Please wear pants.

You know…

In case you need to stand up.

Even though it is a virtual date...

Some effort is required..

So make sure you shower and wear a nice shirt like you would for any other date.

12 - How to be Confident on a Virtual Date

Confidence is sexy.

However, there's a fine line between being cocky and being confident.

With these tips, you'll walk that line with ease.

We want you to be the best version of yourself while on a date.

Here are 5 tips to make sure you come off as your most confident self during your video chat first date:

1. Look good in video (per last chapter.)

2. Talk about subjects that actually interest you, you and your date have more in common than you give credit for.

3. Be down to not agree with everything she says.

4. Being comfortable with a little awkward silence (to give her a chance to add) is confident.

5. When talking to your date show that you are very confident by using "down talk" and not "up talk."

Maybe the most important secrets to Tinder is to have fun and actually enjoy yourself.

Otherwise nothing else will matter.

What is Down Talk or Up Talk?

Your tone of voice matters.

If you speak with a lot of upward inflections in your voice…

• You'll sound unsure.

• Not confident.

• Or weak.

That's what I call "uptalk."

This is not just a "dating technique."

This is a leadership / management and public speaking skill.

You must master this the speak effectively.

On the other hand, down talk sounds confident.

When you watch the video above you'll get the gist.

13 - What to do after a successful first video date

So the Video Call went well.

Next step?

Tell her after you end the call with a quick conformational text.

"I had a great time talking to you."

To make it even more effective… include an inside joke.

That's something we covered in tip #6, by the way.

There are 4 reasons why you want to do this:

1. You will leave off on a good note

2. Be someone she would want to talk to again

3. Can keep the conversation going from there post date

4. It gives her confidence in the conversation, easing any nerves she had.

If you still want this girl to talk to you…

Do not let the conversation die after a video chat first date.

Keeping in contact is a sure way to either have a second virtual date or meet up in person.

14 - Virtual Date Ideas for After the Initial Date

After your first video chat first date…

You'd ideally meet the person in person.

If that isn't possible (say… because of COVID)

Then maybe you'll go for a second video chat.

In that case, the best advice I can give you is:

Keep things really simple.

Some things you can do at that point include:

• Give them a tour of your home or show your dog.

• Do a virtual happy hour.

• Or just have another simple conversation.

Keep in mind that the second video date you can relax a bit more.

You don't need to be "on your game" as much.

You can have more "boring" interview type questions.

At this stage, you want to get a little more real with her.

There is 100000% less pressure here.

No need for 10-minute limits on the conversation or strategy.

Just keep it simple.

15 - Voice Notes: The Next Frontier

At this stage, you should be good to go.

But there's one thing I should mention…

Voice notes.

Whether on WhatsApp, Instagram, or otherwise.

These are seriously effective at getting her interested.

It gives a lot of the bonuses that a video chat does.

But there's less pressure for her to respond right away.

And it's something I'll write a full article on in the future.

This has some pros and cons.

But keep it in mind as an alternative to video calling your first date.

Especially if she's a shy type of girl.

Or if you just get her Instagram or something.

If this article helped you out, do me a favor and leave a comment below.

Tell me what strategies you use to keep girls engaged on video chat.

And what gets them excited to meet up with you.

Your feedback will absolutely be helpful for the millions of readers on the Zirby blog.

Getting Your Profile Top Notch

Obviously you'll need to have a great profile to get the matches you need to have a video chat first date.

The easiest change you can make right now (as in the next 5 minutes…)

Is by using my real actual dating app photo editing techniques.

Click the "watch now" video to check it out for free.

It will teach you how to make the photos you already have perform way better on Tinder.

More Tinder Conversations Advice:

Marc Falzon

Marc is the founder of Zirby: the Tinder advice blog with millions of readers a year. Uncover your inner confidence and experience a fulfilling dating life. Follow Marc on YouTube or Instagram.

https://zirby.co

mooreweent1990.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.zirby.co/blog/video-chat-first-date

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